It is January and that means a LOT of things. For starters, the Holidays are over and my kids are back to school so I can get back to blogging more regularly. It is also a time to get organized, reset our priorities, and have a fresh start. I love that feeling of renewal and optimism that comes with every new year.

Since I last posted Squidget has started on different meds. And WOW what a difference. He has actually returned to his original drug therapy but on a different dose and for now it seems to be doing the trick; especially when compared to his last drug which was a complete disaster.  I find it so fascinating how much of an impact the drugs can make, especially because I have always kinda been more of a non-pill-taking girl. Squidget’s drug therapy is designed to help his ADHD symptoms and the positive impact is undeniable. He started on these drugs in May of last year and while we have experienced some complexities in determining which drug to use and at what dose the process has been enlightening.

After talking with a number of adults who have ADD /ADHD, it has become very clear that those who chose a form of therapy seem to manage their lives substantially better than those who do not. My personal opinion is that the over-diagnosis of ADD/ADHD over a decade ago seemed to desensitize the general public to just how difficult it is to live with. But I am here to tell you that it is torture for the person who has it and it is no picnic for the family who lives with them. As a person who is generally very organized and task completion oriented, I have always been less than understanding of those who cannot seem to do the same. My thought was always, “why can’t  you just ______” but the truth is they can’t – or rather that it does not come naturally so it is really really hard unless they have found a way to truly manage their condition. Having a deeper understanding and first hand experience with ADD /ADHD I believe I have become more compassionate toward those who struggle, but I have to admit – sometimes it is still really hard.

Now imagine coupling severe ADHD with Asperger’s. On some days it is simply mind boggling. The best way I can describe our toughest moments with Asperger’s is that Squidget’s “brain gets stuck”. Stuck on an idea, a feeling, a notion, or what person X has told him. When I say “stuck” I truly mean stuck. It’s a lot like arguing with someone with polarizing political or religious views; someone who has no wiggle room for understanding another point of view. It is frustrating. Sometimes it is simple stuff, but it is often really complicated like when he insists that people think he is “stupid” (and SO heartbreaking – because he is seriously brilliant, and no one thinks that); or when he has decided that holding my hand out to softly redirect him in another direction is causing him physical harm by means of “breaking his armpit”; or when he decides we don’t have to leave a party that has ended because his friend (who was also leaving) said he could have a turn on the computer. Now imagine that with the addition of untreated ADHD on top of it. Imagine a child whose brain gets stuck who ALSO really struggles to focus AND can’t slow his internal motor down long enough to really hear a word you are saying. It’s wicked tough, so trust me when I say that therapy for ADHD is nothing short of a small miracle (when it works).

As he gets older, the signs of Asperger’s become more apparent to me especially in the way that he relates to others. Sometimes I grieve over what I see socially, but mostly I am happy and that he has access to a number of tools that will help him grow with his peers; and hopeful that he will find and maintain true friendships because of his uniqueness and overall lovableness . He certainly faces more than his fair share of obstacles on any given day, but it is always comforting to know that he is surrounded by amazing people and terrific resources.

It’s the start of a New Year, and we are ready to face it with renewed optimism, resourcefulness, and excitement for what our future’s hold.  Wishing you and yours a New Year full of people you can count on, love that is honest, friendship that is strong, family you can hold close, prosperity that is meaningful, and infinite happiness!