7 months ago a very special group of friends affectionately known as The Mafia, conjured up a plan for all of our families to go camping together. 7 families, 14 adults, and 16 kids under the age of 11. 7 months ago, I declined the option to purchase / reserve my own campsite because we were not sure if we could get the time off and because I was not sure if my kids could handle it, namely Squidget. Several members of our group offered to share their campgrounds if we decided to opt in, so we kept it up in the air until late Spring.

I met this fine group of women in the Spring of 2010 through one of my best friends, and I was admittedly apprehensive about opening up to the bigger group. I really liked them, but I knew that the proximity between all of our kids and the grownups would mean that having them as friends would require full disclosure and the acceptance of not only myself but each of my family members; and at the time I am not sure that I had fully accepted our dynamic and everything we encompass. It took me until the fall of 2010 to let my guard down at all, but with each passing week they managed to to infiltrate my life and I am a better person for it. They are dependable, honest, loyal, trustworthy, and willing to help out at a moments notice. They make me laugh, they give me a soft place to land and they make a mean cup of coffee.

Back to the subject of camping, my biggest concern was that Squidget had not spent very much one-on-one time with the other kids and I felt that was a necessary element to make camping in such a large group successful. Throughout the Spring and Summer of this year there have been multiple opportunities for the kids to get to know each other better, so when the time came to go camping we decided to go for it. While I can’t tell you there were NO incidents, I can say that the issues that Squidget had were quite minimal and he handled the weekend exceptionally well. Squidget’s biggest obstacle is his lack of Theory of mind (the ability to attribute mental states—beliefs, intents, desires, pretending, knowledge, etc.—to oneself and others and to understand that others have beliefs, desires and intentions that are different from one’s own). On the day we were leaving he had a misunderstanding with another kid. There was enormous potential for this to send him into a tantrum tailspin. Mr T. and I each had conversations with him about the misunderstanding and while I don’t think he ever understood the other point of view, he did handle it moderately well. As we were packing up I could tell that he was struggling so we tried to give him some space. He asked if he could sit in the car, so we allowed it. For more than an hour he sat in his booster seat snuggled up in a blanket reading and fidgeting. When it was time to go, he got out and said his goodbyes and we headed for home. Not only was his overall success in such a big group a complete victory, I saw noticeable growth in his ability to self regulate and that is monumental.

There is no question in my mind that 6 months ago this undertaking would have been a complete disaster. However, therapy, medication, hard work, and incredible friendships have gifted us with the necessary tools for success. In fact, we totally hit the jackpot. Squidget has acquired a number of friends that may not always “get him” but they accept him and they actively engage with him. Princess Jellybean gets to play with kids she really loves and she gets to interact with other Neurotypical children which is exactly what she needs. The added bonus is that Squidget gets to see how neurotypical children interact and he strives to mimic that. Mr. T got to bond with the big boys AND he got to go fishing. I got to hang out with my immediate family and some of the best friends this girl could wish for.

When I look back over the last year, I recognize how much our family has gone through, but I also recognize how blessed we are by the people in our lives. There have been struggles, but there has also been a LOT of progress, and progress is good.